If you've known me longer than 5 minutes, you've heard me say, "I just don't like people" or "People scare me". Although for the most part this isn't necesserily true, people do scare and annoy me from time to time. I recently received an email from a good friend and it highlighted 9 reasons why I don't like people, in general.
Read on and see if you agree:
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2 People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.
3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!
5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid money to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.
6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7 When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8 When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say, "enough said".
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4 comments:
I only got to cake because it reminded me that I froze Britain's cake since she didn't want to eat it...will comment when done with cake.
I have another...well I probably have at least a dozen, but I'm going to go get more cake so I'm making this quick:
When people say "no offense, but..." (which I tend to do myself once in awhile). Really, they DO mean to offend. They KNOW they are going to offend. So why fucking say it at all?
Oh also, "don't take this the wrong way, but..." "I'm not racist, but..." and when someone says they will call you on their day off because you want to spend time with them and THEY DONT. Not even a text message? You suck!
No offense, but...he he...I thought you were supposed to call me...I'm an ass...I didn't realize. I wouldn't just pass up any old opportunity to meet with the magic baby and gain more wisdom. Please accept my apologies. I suck!
alright technically you don't really suck. Because when you think about it, that would involve something you're not accustomed to. Anyways. You're forgiven.
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