The Mayor

Working with the Mayor of Crazy Town, although entertaining for me, has got to be exhausting for the Mayor. She comes in, in the morning, shuts "off" the lights, proceeds to pull out the loudest keychain ever created and makes a big production of retreiving her belongings from her private locker. I was accused of stealing her personal file (the house schedule we all had to follow) and therefore everything has to be locked up. Well, I snuck into the locker and found out was so personal. We're talking:
1. A copy of the latest magazine she's reading.
2. Her personal writing utensil (A blue medium point Bic)
3. A 3 X 3 square of blue Post-Its
4. Her daytime supply of Wellbutrin and Valium for the week...A great combination.
5. Her signed copy of the schedule (the one that she doesn't follow)
6. A pair of vintage-looking (but really plastic) pair of clip-on earrings.

She is very concerned for her belongings and she has every right to be, especially when there's a thief loose in the "house". However, when I arrived at 5 am this morning, I wasn't feeling an air of concern for "belongings". As a matter of fact, the lights were still on, the door was not locked and the alarm was never set. I suppose in a manner of speaking her things were still safe because if anyone had come in there, they wouldn't have a key to HER locker, but what good would her personal belongings be if someone had come in and stole the 10 computers in here? You would have no job, Mayor!

And yet, she still manages to keep her job. She really must be related to George Bush, because it amazes me how much one person can fuck up and still get paid to do a job, or pretend you're doing it, anyway.

I'm assuming she's exhausted from all that pretending you're working thing and was so tired, she forgot to shut off the lights, set the alarm and lock the door. Maybe I should invest in a locker, too. Someone could steal my stash of bananas.

On another note, has anyone else noticed that Condoleeza Rice looks like an African American Barbie that had her head squished in from the sides or is it just me?

I just don't like people.

If you've known me longer than 5 minutes, you've heard me say, "I just don't like people" or "People scare me". Although for the most part this isn't necesserily true, people do scare and annoy me from time to time. I recently received an email from a good friend and it highlighted 9 reasons why I don't like people, in general.

Read on and see if you agree:

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2 People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!

5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid money to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7 When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8 When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say, "enough said".