Ba Humbug Day

I listen to a radio station out of Ashtabula (homey's birthplace) and today they announced that it was "Ba Humbug Day" and you can gripe about 12 things today, so here goes:

1. Ba Humbug Day

X-mas season or not, I can gripe if I want to, damnit. I am not St. Nick, I am not jolly, too bad.

2. Yodeling

Hey Jewel, yodeling has no place in holiday music.

3. Dogs barking to "Jingle Bells"

It made me want to veer me and my van into the nearest ravine.

4. "Santa Baby"

I don't care who's singing it, Eartha Kitt or not. I do not like it. ESPECIALLY if Eartha is singing it. You made a great catwoman or whatever you were on Batman, but I want to stab my eardrums when I hear you singing this song. Okay, I have to say the same goes for Barry Manilow singing "My Favorite Things" A Fanilow, I am not!

5. Asshole drivers

I can never say enough about this and I know nobody wants to hear it, but please don't pull out in front of me and fishtail between two lanes trying to catch up with the natural flow of traffic that you just fucking obstructed. Asshole.

6. Special Forwards

I have to admit I love a good forward, especially if they make laugh like a jolly old elf, but please don't send me the ones that say, "You have to forward this to 10 or more people and if you only forward it to 1 person, you don't have many friends, blah, blah, blah" I have friends because I don't forward these emails to them. When I start forwarding these emails, I will lose those friends.

7. Shopping

I know that both of my sisters just inhaled their cocoa from gasping, but they should also know that I can't stand shopping. I love giving gifts more than anything, but the very idea that I have to go shopping for them is horrid. Mix screaming kids with adults that have no common sense and cashiers that, well, shouldn't even be greeters and it's a nasty mix no matter how you add it up. That's why I thank God for creating the internet on the 7th day. She's such a wonderful God. Point, click, wait for the mail.

8. Frank Snot-ra

Dude, I about fell asleep in the van driving home because they were playing some Frank. Thankfully, I had a needle to stab beneath my fingernails to keep me awake. I know, I know...change the channel. I did. Three times. First station, Jewel yodeling to White Christmas. Second, Dogs barking to Jingle Bells. Third, Santa Baby. Need I say more?

9. Being in the Slytherin category on Kristen's page

At first, I was like, "Okay, there's probably something good to be said about that. Hey, Monsieur le coq is here! Wait, I'm in the class with the dogs? Where is that damn sorting hat?!" I just don't like it, no sir I do not.

10. GameSHOUT's Top 10 Holiday Movie List

Sorry, Patio; I know you didn't create the list. I don't have any problem in general with the list, just the fact that Die Hard 1&2 are #3 on the list. I know that the theme of the movie occurs during the holidays, but so do a lot of movies. That doesn't mean they should make it to the top 10 of Holiday Movies list. It belongs on a whole other category. Something like..."Movies that never should have made it to the silver screen"

11. These cats

One wants to "become one" with me while I'm on the computer. One is trying to die of pneumonia. One nearly had to have his tail amputated. 25 pounds of cat and no tail does not look good. One has to cuddle like an infant, but ONLY on the left shoulder. Nobody has a good left shoulder in this house. One I forget we have because all she does is hide and sleep. Halfpint swears about every other week that she's on her way out, but we've been together for almost 5 years and this cat ain't goin' nowhere! I think we have too many cats, but the truth is, if a stray showed up on our door and stayed there for like 5 minutes, I would take it in and say we have 6 cats. Every once in a while, Halfpint says, "We gotta start getting rid of some cats." Not happening chick!

12. Having to come up with 12 gripes

Says who? Peace out, Napoleon!