Chock Full O' Nuts (And a little MFM)

First of all, I haven't posted on my blog in at least 3 months. I had moved on to other creative avenues and with only a handful of fans, it was easy enough to not be so concerned about this particular blog. I even thought of deleting the whole blog at one time, but left it up, more for sentimental reasons than anything else.

However, much to my amazement and surprise, not only do I have a new reader, but I think I was Googled! How exciting is that? One may say I'm famous. Okay, we don't need to go that far, but here's the lowdown for those of you that haven't heard the story yet:

Friday at work with The Mayor, quiet as usual. We have this "don't talk to me, I won't talk to you" thing going and it works well. I enjoy it. She's in and out all morning with her phone and that's fine. Suddenly, she's inside on the phone, making a big production out of something or other and I found this slightly odd, because this doesn't usually happen, unless it's for my benefit. All I could hear was that it was "VERY SERIOUS", but I didn't really pay any attention to it. Suddenly, the backup phone rings and it's Diana asking me about the work schedule so she can schedule some conference call or something on her day off or whatever and she finally asks me if I've said anything to my co-worker, to which I laughed and replied "no". All quiet on the western front. Diana said that The Mayor called her cell while she was doing something important and told Diana that she needed to come to the office right away, it was very serious and that it involved Diana, too. I could have cared less. It's something new every day.

A short while later, I hear The Mayor going back outside, par for the course, and suddenly I hear yelling and it sounded like Diana. Again, my phone rings and she's yelling about how The Mayor had her come to the office to tell her that I stole from her and she finally has proof. Again, I was like, "whatever" and I think Diana got really pissed this time, but I knew I hadn't stole from her or anyone for that matter, so I didn't care. If she felt like there was truly a problem, she wouldn't be calling Diana, she would be calling our Manager.

So, the rest of the day goes by and not a single word from The Mayor. The last guy is done and leaving and I'm going through the closing procedures, blah, blah, blah, when suddenly, from around the corner comes the poster child for "Valium and Scotch Don't Mix" and I screamed, "Jesus!" It thrusted a photocopied and stapled bunch of papers into my face and asked, "Is that you?!?!" As soon as I got over the fear that this thing only wanted a question answered and I got over the face, I realized what it was holding and answered it. It was a copy of my blog. Well, isn't that sweet?! A fan club! She actually Googled me and found my page and copied it, but didn't have the decency to leave a comment. But wait, what did I steal? That's right boys and girls...not a damn thing. As you can see in my last post over 3 months ago, it states that I went into her "personal locker", not that I took her plastic earrings. And now, class, how many of you actually believed that I went in there? That's right, not one of you.

All I could do was laugh. I said to her, "Do you mean that I was right? What I wrote in there is what's actually in your locker?" This made me laugh even harder, plus I had to pee so bad and that wasn't helping. She also went on about how I came in the one day and all the lights were on, the door open and the alarm not set. Apparantly, NO ONE even TOLD her that she did this. I reported it to my manager and not a word was ever said to her about it. Fucking AMAZING!!!

So, we go through the usual thing where she yells at you, stammers her words, threatens you and The Mayor ends up walking out of the office and sat in her car oogling me until I got in my car and left...nothing new. She thinks this is grade school and that staring people down is threatening, but whatever.

So, here we are once again, with a new and improved blog, which brings me to another subject...if it's new, how can it be improved? Never mind. Let's not forget Middle Finger Monday, boys and girls. We haven't had that little ditty in quite some time. Can you guess who get sthe award this week, class? Kudos to all of you for being so smart!

Lesson for today:

*Don't Google for dirt on people and then get pissed off at what you find...nobody told you to go looking for dirt in the first place! What did you think you were going to find anyway?

*If you don't like what you're reading, for heaven's sake, don't come back and read it again. For example, I went into a bar years and years ago that scared the hell out of me and I didn't like it. Guess what? I didn't go back. I've been to other blogs that I didn't like and guess what? That's right, you're getting the hang of it...I didn't go back and read it ever again. See the pattern?

At least if she comes in with a copy of the new post, it has a much better picture of me this time.